Only in Cambodia

On Twitter, a few people have started using the tag #onlyincambodia for their day-in-the-life encounters of the Cambodian kind. Here's an example from this morning.

A tuk tuk driver sees me and does a hair-screeching U-turn to pull up in front of me. "Tuk tuk?" he says hopefully. I ask him if he knows where the Intercontinental Hotel is. "Yes, Intercon, know," he says.

I persist. "Intercon squall?" This is my way of asking in awful Khmer if he knows where the Intercon is. He replies, "Yes, yes, know."

I propose 5,000 riel for the ride. He counters with 6,000, I repeat 5,000 again, both in English and Khmer as well as holding up five fingers to drive the point home, and he agrees. I show him that I only have a 10,000 riel note and say "Change?" He says "Okay, okay."

I get in and he immediately heads the wrong way. I realize that he obviously does not "squall" where the Intercon is and I have to give him turn by turn directions in Khmer. Three minutes in to the six minute trip he stops at a gas station to fill up--he's been trolling for business on a completely empty tank.

Luckily I'm not in a hurry. He then pays using all of his small change. I already know this is going to be a problem, but his English and my Khmer are so limited that there's nothing I can do.

When we finally I arrive and I hand him my 10,000 riel note he looks dumbfounded. He cannot believe that I do not have exact change. He then tries to raise the price to 8,000 ($2). I snatch the note out of his hand, visibly irritated.

He finally realizes that he's not going to get more than we agreed on, and starts flagging down passing cut-fruit vendors, cyclo drivers and other tuk tuks while I stand there, seething. He eventually gets change, and I glare at him while we do a simultaneous exchange, my 10,000 for his 5,000.

By the time I arrive at my destination it has taken longer than it would have to walk and I am incredibly frustrated. In summary:

• Tuk tuk driver said he knew where something was when he didn't
• Agreed to give me change when he didn't know what I meant
• Didn't garner fhat the reason I was holding up a 10k bill after agreeing to a 5k price was because I wanted to pay with it
• Was riding around looking for business on an empty tank
• Had to stop to get gas on a six minute, quarter mile trip
• Gives all of his change to the gas station, forgetting that he would need to give me change
• Didn't know a major hotel, or one of the few major streets in Phnom Penh
• Forced me to give him turn by turn directions
• Tried to raise the price after arrival

Encounters such as this are not extreme by any means. This is just another daily occurrence that raises my blood pressure every time. The details vary every time but the grim satisfaction of having another #onlyincambodia moment--or more realistically, #typicalincambodia--is always the same.